Wednesday, July 22, 2015

We're Naming Our Son Morpheus

Yep, Morpheus.

What do you think?

Sweet name right?

Sure, there's the connection to the Matrix Trilogy, which might give one the impression we didn't give this decision much thought. On the contrary, those movies were released years ago and Morpheus still sounds cool. I've been thinking about this for a while and I still like this name.

It's different. It's unique. And, really, that's what we're going for here, right?
"What if I told you, Blackwell is a terrible name?"

For the rest of my son's life, every time he introduces himself, people will know that his parents have "different" or "unique" tastes. Everyone will think we're cool and it'll be awesome. Unless of course, you're my son.

From some of the names flying around these days it does seem that parents sometimes forget the fact that the kid actually has to, you know, live with the name they're given.

Is this the disconnect that leads one to name their son "Raider" or "Blaze?" Is this why some people take a perfectly good name and corrupt it with their own strange spelling. I'm looking at you "Mickinly" and "Payzley."

So to be clear, we're not naming our next son Morpheus (sorry Mom, I know you were holding out hope).

And we're not inventing a name ("Hi, I'm Wimberly,") or repurposing another word and making it a name ("Pleasure to meet you, I'm Cannon.") Those are real names by the way.

No, what Mrs. Blackwell and I are doing is wrapping up the final stages of naming our unborn son and trying our best to follow our hearts while simultaneously not bestowing a name that will make people wonder what the hell his parents were thinking.

Naturally, we have doubts about our choices. But, thanks to the epidemic of terrible baby names we find ourselves in, it's highly likely our choice won't be that bad — at least comparatively.

It's difficult to convey these thoughts without coming across as elitist, pompous, conceited or pretentious.

I hope I'm not any of these things and I know Mrs. Blackwell isn't. Ultimately the beauty of a name lies solely in the eye of its beholder. One person's John is another person's D'Brickashaw. There's no accounting for taste — or the perceived lack thereof.

That said, I think we can all agree that some names are outlandish and leave the vast majority of people feeling sorry for a kid. If acknowledging that makes me snooty, well, so be it. 


Now, maybe you just thought, "Wimberly! Now that sounds neat," or, "I've been on the hunt for a name with serious firepower. Cannon? Boom! We have a winner!"

If that happened well, I've insulted you. Wasn't my intent. Sorry. But there's got to be a line somewhere, some common point of reference, between Adam and Adolf Hitler doesn't there?

Last year in this country a total of five little newborn boys were dubbed "Billion." Someone else named their son "Daggar." Some parents saw fit to name their son "Sadman" while someone else named a baby girl "Lay."

If you're one of the people who named your kid Billion, Daggar, Sadman or Wimberly (Seriously, that's just Kimberly with a W? As in: "WHY do this to your daughter?") maybe you had a good reason.

Maybe you just liked the sound of the name. Perhaps you don't care about what this word might mean or the fact that it's a word you just made up.

Names can be very, very touchy business. Our philosophy, which I'll discuss a bit more Friday, is to pick a name that, at minimum, will never, ever serve as a disadvantage. That said, it's interesting to note that the most recent research suggests that name is not destiny.

Just ask the man named "Loser."

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